(The "new parent" high, combined with extreme exhaustion)
which meant that today we were doing this:
Making Tony a blueberry pancake birthday breakfast
Baking/decorating Cookie Monster cupcakes
Ordering pizza (yeah, this one took a lot out of me)
Decorating the dining room area with random Sesame Street decorations
Enjoying watching Tony unleash his inner "unwrapping" demon
I know people say this all the time, but time really does fly. It's hard to believe that our tiny little baby is now a busy little toddler, and we will have another newborn in the house in a matter of months. It's also days like today that remind me once again how grateful I am, how HUMBLED I am to be a mother. I think most mothers, whether they stay at home or go to work, have days of "oh Lord how am I EVER going to get through these next couple of hours without sneaking shots of tequila" (okay, I really hope I'm not the only one who ever thinks that way!). Motherhood is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing, but it's also exhausting. Bone dead, world weary exhausting. And extremely trying on your patience, particularly if you never had a lot to begin with. There are days when I'm so overwhelmed and frustrated and I just wish Tony would stop fighting me and take a damn nap, and then I feel guilty for being frustrated. Will and I are so blessed to have a happy, healthy, loving little boy, even if he's getting to the age where he fights nap time like it's nobody's business.
Bottom line? Even when I'm running around the house doing a million things (trying to keep the dog from stealing what will eventually be dinner off the counter, trying to keep Tony from throwing his toys in the garbage, remembering that oh yeah, I threw those clothes in the wash 2 days ago...and they're still sitting in the washing machine), I am very blessed to have the life that I have. I am so grateful to my husband for loving me and being there for me, despite all my faults. I am grateful to my son for teaching me patience, true unconditional love, and forcing me to stop being selfish, because it's no longer just Will and I anymore. While I'm sure there are many who do not find my life, or my choice to be a stay at home mother appealing in the least, I truly believe that I've found my...vocation? Calling? Doesn't matter. This is where I'm supposed to be, and I couldn't be happier.
Now, it's time to eat another Cookie Monster cupcake. Because I'm the kind of mother who firmly believes in personal responsibility, and it would be very irresponsible of me to let any of those cupcakes go to waste.